So Wrong (the collected pornographica of Elsie)

“So, are you going to fuck her?”

“Well yeah, that was my plan…”

There was a long pause.

“With MY dick?”

God-dammit.

“Come on Leah, she’s really hot!”

“She’s a skank.”

“But I’m so horny! And she’s really into it!”

There was another long pause. Leah was considering my dilemma. She was both my best friend and my arch-nemesis. And right now she was in grad school in Kentucky. “You’re really horny, huh?”

“Yes, I’m dying! Can’t I at least jerk off??”

“No.” There was another pause. Damn her. “No, I don’t have time to watch this weekend. Too busy with school. Don’t worry. I’ll make some phone calls. But I don’t want you putting MY dick in that… skank.”

Well crap, so much for my weekend. I texted Am*b to let her know we couldn’t hang out this weekend after all. Fuckin’ Leah and her high standards. I couldn’t even masturbate, not in good conscience. And all because of a stupid bet I’d lost in the eighth grade. It was Leah’s dick. And she still had the piece of paper, complete with my childish signature, to prove it.

Am*b responded with a terse “ok”. She wasn’t the kind of girl who would hang out and wait for a second chance. I wouldn’t be hearing from her again.

I resigned myself to playing computer games all fucking weekend. I booted up Exoplanet Prospectors and tried not to think about sex. My dick felt heavy and thick between my legs. Excuse me, her dick.

When the intercom rang, I buzzed them right in. Almost certainly one of my neighbors ordering Thai food. I didn’t think twice about it, and went back to defending my asteroid outpost, currently in the process of getting overrun by slime creatures. It looked to be a losing battle.

I had already forgotten about the buzzer when I heard the knock. Puzzled, I answered the door and found myself face to face with a handsome lady, at least twenty years my senior, wearing an incredibly short yellow dress under a beige trench coat. She had a mop of brown hair with salt-and-pepper roots, and big pink-rimmed glasses that on someone else might have looked frumpy. Her tits threatened to pop right out of the front of her dress. A gold band glimmered on the fourth finger of her left hand.

“Well don’t look so surprised, Leah said you were expecting me. Now show me in, and ask me if I would like a drink.”

She rolled her eyes when she saw the beer selection. “A glass of water will do just fine, thanks.” She used the water to wash down four or five pills. “Now,” she said, “I believe you were about to show me your bedroom?”

Thank God I’d changed the sheets.

Leah’s friend sat down on the side of the bed. She seemed faintly amused by my dwelling. Her tits continued to threaten to burst out of her skimpy yellow dress. She caught me staring, and smirked.

“Leah said you have something that belongs to her. I’d like to see it now, IF you don’t mind.”

I did not mind. I was already plenty hard as I unzipped my jeans and fished my dick –Leah’s dick—out.

“Ooh,” Mrs. X purred. “Verrry nice!” She stroked the underside, making me twitch involuntarily. “Would you like to see these?” she teased, shaking her sizeable bust. Yes, I would like that.

I’m not a fan of big tits for bigness’ sake, but hers were large and gorgeous. And none the worse for age, as far as I could see.

While I was busy admiring her breasts, she cheekily swallowed my cock. Leah’s cock. Whatever. Her mouth felt amazing, hot and wet. Her tongue did acrobatics. She squeezed my balls as she came up for air.

“You,” she said, with a fat smirk on her face, “Need to be naked now. Right now.” I’m not sure what it was about me that she found so endlessly amusing, but I complied, stripping hurriedly out of my remaining clothes.

“Lay down on the bed,” she told me. “Face down. I want to eat out your ass. Unless you’re a prude…?”

I was not a prude. I lay face down on the bed, my hard cock pressed into my belly, and she spread my ass cheeks and blew softly on my exposed hole. She started exploring all around the area with the tip of her tongue, tracing up and down my crevice and the sensitive skin behind my balls. The feeling was exquisite. I moaned out, and she giggled loudly, and started licking at my anus. It was my ass, not Leah’s, but I wasn’t about to quibble. The sensations were just amazing!

She tongued my asshole, making me moan and drool, making my cock harder than hard. She stroked and licked my ball sac. Her fingers probed inside my wet hole, a sensation I found surprisingly pleasurable. I arched my back, straining for more. But she was ready to shift gears.

“Roll over.”

She peeled off the remains of her yellow dress. She had a soft, comfortable looking belly, and a fluffy triangle of light brown pubic hair between her legs. She eyed me critically.

“Don’t hold back,” she instructed. “As soon as you’re all the way inside, I want you to hump me as hard and fast as you can. I’ll take care of the rest. Understood?”

She didn’t wait for an answer. She straddled me, grasping my cock purposefully with one hand, guiding it into her pussy. Once she was on target, she sat down, engulfing me in her scalding hot, slippery bliss.

I did exactly as instructed, humping up against her with everything I had. I felt my orgasm in my toes, and I did not hold back, bellowing incoherently up at her. Her eyes were screwed up tight, her tits shook wildly as she bounced, her fingers busy stimulating her fat clit as my naked cock slid in and out of her juicy pussy.

We both came, hard. I think I passed out for a moment, because the next thing I remember is her slithering back into that tight yellow dress. She picked up her trench coat from where she had abandoned it in a pile on my floor. My belly was coated in a viscous puddle of our comingled juices.

“See you around,” she fluttered her fingers in my direction. My wet asshole twitched. “Thanks for the ride.”

And with that, she was gone.

*

“Holy shit Leah!”

“Well it is my dick,” Leah gloated, “I wouldn’t want for it to be neglected.”

“It’s a very nice one,” she went on, “I’m quite fond of it. And I don’t even like dicks. But I have a friend who does. I want you to show him a good time.”

Now, I’m not especially bisexual. And even if I was, Gabe wouldn’t have been my type. Too young, too skinny, too swooshy.

Leah joined in for this one, via video link. She directed the action, starting with the kissing, and I was somewhat surprised to find that, while guy-on-guy action may not have been my first choice, it could also be quite hot.

I enjoyed kissing him, and I liked the way his body responded. I felt his cock grow hard inside his pants as we made out, and Leah told me to squeeze him, to unzip him, to stroke him. It really wasn’t that much different from kissing a girl, his lips were soft and he didn’t have any stubble, but I really like the way his cock jumped and strained as I teased him.

“Be rough with him,” Leah instructed. “Slap him around, show him who’s boss. He loves it.”

I grabbed a fistful of his hair, and kissed him hard, biting his lower lip until he cried out. I threw him onto the bed, and climbed on top, wrestled his shirt off, pulled his pants down around his ankles. His dick was a little large than mine, a fact that for whatever reason didn’t bother me at all.

“Fuck his face” Leah told me. She was very obviously enjoying the show. I did as she said, squatting over his smooth chest and pinching his nipples cruelly while shoving my cock roughly into his mouth, making him choke and gag on it. He certainly didn’t seem to mind. I loved the way he was able to take my whole length into his mouth, my balls resting comfortably against his lips, while he gurgled with pleasure on my cock. It felt amazing, the guy was a human Dyson! He sucked dick far better than most women I’d been with! I could very easily have come right then and there in his mouth, but I didn’t.

Leah didn’t tell me to flip him over and eat his ass out, but she certainly didn’t object. I enjoyed his musty, clean taste and the noises he made as I crammed my tongue as far as I could up his asshole. I was a little surprised just how hard this made me. I hoped Mrs. X had gotten the same amount of pleasure from eating out my own asshole.

I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to suck his dick –what if he came in my mouth?? And I also wasn’t sure how I felt about full-on anal penetration, though if that was what Leah wanted me to do with her dick, who was I to argue? In any event, she had other ideas.

“Very nice,” Leah said, “But roll him over now, rub your dick up against his, make him come that way.”

I did as I was told.

“Zoom the camera in so I can see… Dammit you’re a klutz!”

It was easier to let Gabe do all the work. He frantically humped his erection against mine, while I kept the camera pointed right at the action. It did feel really nice, and I quickly realized that he was going to get me off.

“Oh shit yeah, you fucking little slut,” I put one hand on his throat, not hard enough to choke him, just hard enough to remind him who was in charge. He whimpered and thrust even harder.

Suddenly I was coming, and that triggered his orgasms. Our dueling dicks spurted and spasmed as we moaned our pleasure. Gobs and gobs of pearly white semen flooded out, soaking us both. I fell onto him, and we kissed tenderly. Somewhere in the background, I could hear the quick little gasps of Leah getting herself off.

“Well,” she said when we were all done, and Gabe had gotten up to pee and Kleenex off. “That was pretty hot.”

*

And after Gabe, nothing. Two months of no action whatsoever. Every weekend, I would ask Leah for permission to masturbate, and almost invariably, she would respond with a terse “no.” Sometimes I would cheat, and jerk off anyway, but she always seemed to know, and when Leah is pissed off she can get really nasty and personal. A couple of time she agreed to let me pleasure myself, but she insisted that I do it in front of the camera, and I couldn’t decide if not knowing who was watching me jerk off was disturbing or kind of hot. Probably a little of both.

I had saved up a little money, and I was thinking of asking Leah about buying back my penis. Then Leah called me up out of the blue. She told me she was in town. She said she needed her dick. She gave me an address that was half an hour away. She told me to take a shower and be there in twenty minutes. She sounded drunk.

Damnit, I was already getting hard.

My dick –her dick—whatever– may have been in a hurry, but I wasn’t. I took my time. I showered, I shaved, I put on aftershave, I gave my pubes a little trim. I took my time driving over there, and knocked on the door. My erection strained impatiently the whole time.

A familiar face opened the door. It wasn’t Leah, it was the older woman with the pink glasses and the wedding band who had visited my apartment all those months ago. She had on a red velvet dressing gown embossed with golden dragons, and she was wearing nothing else.

“Well,” she said, squeezing my dick through my pants, “Look who decides to show up! You certainly took your sweet time! Come on in!” she tugged on my cock like a leash. “We’re going to have some fun!” She was clearly high as a kite. On what, I wondered?

Leah frowned when she saw me. “You certainly took your sweet time. Take your clothes off. Sit there.” I opened my mouth to protest, and then thought better of it. “Sit and be quiet.”

I sat upright in a straight-backed wooden chair across from the sofa, which was red as sin. My dick stood straight up at full attention. Leah’s friend dropped the dressing gown. I ogled her body shamelessly. The first time, when she had visited my apartment, we had been way too busy fucking for me to really appreciate how lovely she really was. The mature Mrs. X was all soft curves; large breasts with big brown areolae, shapely hips, a soft tummy, a nicely rounded dumpling ass with thick thighs, and a neatly trimmed tuft of light-brown pubic hair. She caught me staring, eyeing her up and down, and she grinned and winked broadly, like a burlesque performer hamming it up.

I’d never actually seen Leah naked. Despite the fact that she had seen me in the most intimate ways possible, I had never glimpsed so much as one of her nipples. So I was slightly flabbergasted when she peeled off her t-shirt and jeans and there was nothing on underneath; no bra, no panties, just skin, perfect bare flesh. She was beautiful, flawless. Pale, slender and sleek, taut belly. Her breasts were small and streamlined, conical with puffy areolae and barely perceptible nipples. Her pussy was shaved bare. Plump labia formed a smug crease between her legs. Her ass was absolutely gorgeous. On one cheek was a small red she-devil with big tits and a spiked serpentine tail and a pitchfork.

“When did you get a tattoo?” I asked.

“Never you mind,” she replied. The women then proceeded to ignore me for a while.

Watching the two naked women make out together on the scarlet couch was incredibly erotic. They both seemed to have forgotten entirely about my presence. They kissed deeply, running their fingers through each other’s hair, cupping breasts and squeezing nipples, caressing each other’s thighs and buttocks. Leah kissed her friends’ neck and nibbled her earlobe while Mrs. X let her fingers stray between Leah’s thighs, parting her puffy hairless labia and exposing the moist inner folds. I could see her clit, tiny, pink, and swollen. Leah’s breath was hoarse and rapid.

I couldn’t help myself. Leah could say whatever she wanted, but I needed touch. As Mrs. X pushed her back on the red sofa, slipped a pillow under her butt, and knelt between Leah’s wide-splayed legs, I started gently stroking my desperately hard cock. The slurping sex noises were killing me. Leah buried her fingers in her lover’s thick brown hair while Mrs. X lapped noisily at her pussy and clit, and glanced up long enough to leer obscenely at me as I touched myself before diving back in to her slick wet feast.

Leah and I had jerked off together a few times back in high school when she had first taken possession of my dick, and I knew the signs pretty well. Leah was about to come. It took every last bit of my self-restraint to not come right along with her, like we used to do, downstairs in her family’s game room with her hands crammed down the front of her pants and me on full display. Leah’s legs stuck out at right angles, every muscle rigid, toes clenched, and with both hands she crammed Mrs X’s face into her crotch. She came loud, and hard and long, not caring whether the neighbors or in fact the whole neighborhood knew she was having an orgasm. When Mrs. X finally came up for air, her face was shiny with wetness, and she was wearing a big fat grin.

They spooned for a little while, stroking each other’s pussy and breasts, and kissing. This did not last long. Soon, Leah was between our friend’s thighs, licking busily at her pussy. My cock (her cock) strained and ached, and the head was already liberally coated with clear, slippery pre-come.

They shifted position. Now Mrs. X was on her hands and knees, her big tits dangling and swaying as Leah ate her out from behind. I was dying, absolutely dying.

“I need you to use my dick now,” Leah said. She produced a bottle from somewhere and dribbled slippery stuff all over my achingly hard erection. “Fuck her ass,” she hissed at me, “Fuck her right up the pooper!”

Mrs. X was still kneeling, fingers busy between her own legs. Lithe as a weasel, Leah slithered in between those thick thighs, and resumed her licking.

I positioned myself behind Mrs. X, letting my slippery cock rub nestle in between her voluptuous ass cheeks. She purred and pressed back against me. I nudged the tip of my dick up against her puckered asshole.

“Oooh, naughty boy!” she exclaimed happily, wiggling her backside. “So that’s what you want?”

Well, yes it actually was, but it was also what Leah had told me to do, and she was driving this train, not me.

There was almost no resistance as I penetrated her. Her body just swallowed me up. I could her the muffled slurping of Leah licking at her clit, and I could feel her fingers inside Mrs. X’s pussy as I buried my cock all the way up to the balls in her ass. Her anus squeezed me tight, like a living cock ring.

“Oh God, you two…” her voice trailed off, and she humped languidly back against me. “I do love a good butt fucking!”

I did my best to hold back, but it was way too much for me. Fortunately, nobody seemed to mind. I exploded inside Mrs. X, pumping her ass full of my sticky semen, my cock twitching and spurting, waves of pleasure curling my toes and making me cry out. Just as I came, Leah’s tongue on her clit set Mrs. X off, and she came too, crying out loud, her body shaking. I hugged her tight and squeezed her tits and kissed the back of her neck as she orgasmed on my softening dick.

Finally, we were all satisfied, disentangled, and halfway toweled off. I laid my head in Mrs. X’s lap, and she idly stroked my hair.

“Leah,” she said thoughtfully, “What would you think about selling me this dick of yours…”

“Talk to me,” Leah said. “Make me an offer.”

END